I’m at a cross-roads in my life; I’m currently unemployed and am not sure what I want to do. I’d go back and repeat some of my previous adventures and write about them, but I have no way of paying for life on the road. Somehow, no one is looking for me to do an ethnography of the rock and roll business. Alas!
I spent all day applying for a couple of jobs; modern jobs seem to require applying online and, although I have a lovely curriculum vita and can write a mean cover letter, many of the places that I’d like to employ me have their own proprietary human resources software that require me to take all of the information on my CV and plug it into their data base in a different order than I’d used when I wrote the CV. And their data bases will time me out if I don’t save within an unspecified period of time, but I cannot save without filling in all of the blanks in a section and it takes me longer to fill in a section than the time out period! To quote Charlie Brown, “Aargh!” I finally managed to apply for two jobs (one had about six openings in the NYC area, the other only one but it is in Springfield) but felt dissatisfied with myself and life. I wish I could get the job that has lots of openings, but in Springfield!
Even before I spent over eight hours on the computer, I had been in a bad mood. Over the years, my town’s sanitation department has systematically ripped the locking handles off of my garbage cans, usually within a few weeks or months of my purchasing them. The rolling cans are expensive, too, costing over $40 each. Last year, when I couldn’t afford to replace my can for the fourth time, I bought some strap metal, threaded rod and nuts, and fabricated a new handle for one (the other two had been damaged too badly for me to replace the handles). The home-made handle doesn’t lock the lid in place but, so far, the trash men have not succeeded in ripping it off, so the can can be wheeled out for pick-up. Since they only collect trash every other week and I forgot to take it out last week, my can is overfull. The dump is usually open on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Since New Year’s Day is a Saturday, the dump was open on today, Friday, this week. I decided to bring a couple of bags of trash to the dump this morning, as my can was overflowing and I thought it better than stacking it up next to the (non-existent) curb on Monday. When I got there, the dump wanted to charge me $1 per bag for the privilege of flinging it in to their dumpster, myself. I brought the trash home. I’ll haul it out for pick-up on Monday. It annoyed me that I couldn’t get rid of an old chicken carcass from the refrigerator without paying a fee in addition to the annual dump fee that I already pay! Bon appetit to the dog that raids my can.
Anyway, I’d made plans to attend First Night in Northampton and I bought my admission button yesterday. First Night is something that I have enjoyed immensely in years past. I left the house intending to head to Northampton but had neglected to bring my coat; I was cold in the car as it got moving. I drove to Five Corners and picked up a lottery ticket for tonight's gigantic drawing (over $240 million dollar prize). I pulled out the ticket that I’d bought for the previous drawing, which no one won. I never remember to cash in my tickets and didn’t know if I’d won anything. I asked the clerk to check and was thrilled to discover that I’d won $17. I’d spent $16 on my First Night button. As I headed home to pick up my coat, I suddenly decided that I didn’t need to be concerned about wasting the money for my button and that I really didn’t want to go tonight. Having made the decision, I was no longer bad tempered; I felt free. I called to cancel my plans and went inside to watch TV. I wrote, cooked a good dinner, and ate it. I’ll probably go to First Night next year, but I just didn’t feel like dealing with thousands of people today. For tonight, I’m happy in my Hermit Club. Tomorrow, I’ll be social, again, and whine, snivel, and rant no more. Until the next time I’m in a bad mood!
I didn't win the big prize tonight, but that's all right. I'm in a much better mood despite not winning. Sometimes, I just need to be left to my own devices. Usually, they aren't terribly dangerous or destructive devices. Usually.
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