Facebook blues - or crazies. Take your pick.

This is the entire thread from a post that John made on his Facebook page from a few days ago. The whole thing really upset me, so I'm posting it here, mostly to vent. I've edited it for clarity (removing people's thumbnails, timestamps, and how many people liked a post). I have all of this on file, for those who might think I edited it to my own advantage. I've also added in the places where other people edited their comments after originally posting. Finally, justified to the right border, I've adding in notes of my own, to explain my thought processes as this was taking place. Otherwise, I've left in the posts exactly as they appeared, typos and all, although I redacted the last name of the most prolific poster, for reasons that should become obvious.

John Elder Robison

From the Robison Archive . . . Cubby tests the flamethrower, after zombies are reported three miles away. Needless to say, it worked.

Stacey Eubanks Herrera

My son got two cases of MREs today. He's still begging for a flamethrower (he already checked and says they are not illegal here)!

John Elder Robison

They are legal most places, as far as I know

Suzanne Scott Ruckman

Okay, spill! My 10 yo asked for a flamethrower for Christmas!

Yvonne

We use them in Texas for burning certain grasses for other seeds to grow...

Lisa Bennett Lyman

That would come in so handy for snow/ice removal. The neighbors hate me anyway, might as well go for it.

Miriam Rubinoff

Once you have the MREs, the flamethrower isn't far behind. Just be careful where you light the match.

Matthew Scott Brady

They are legal because most governments assume that they are too impractical for you to have.

Apparently, they hadn't considered the Aspie Mad Scientist demographic and our ability to build crazy sh*t in the garage... Muhuhahahaha...

Greg Poppino

Matthew Scott Brady read "Raising Cubby"; it has interesting insight on what can happen when an Aspie science geek gets the not-quite-understanding scrutiny of overzealous Feds who've seen videos of homemade stuff that goes boom.

Mary Robison

As the raidee, let me assure you that "legal" is a matter of interpretation - ultimately the jury's, but the D.A. can make your life a living hell in the meanwhile.

Yvonne

Jury or judge depending on whom you chose. American law is based on case law which gives interpretations of the actual laws. As for District Attorneys.. they represent the people of the state. When you engage your children in hazardous activities, people can file a complaint to the D. A. ... Don't blame the lawyers.

Note – the implication is that I allowed my son to engage in hazardous activities.

Yvonne

Esp if the children are underage...and no parent is around.

Note – the implication is that I did not supervise my child.

Mary Robison

There's a local saying - "A good D.A. can indict a ham sandwich." The implication is that you don't have to be doing anything illegal to get indicted for something. I DO blame the lawyers for that.

Note – did I say anything about hating all district attorneys? I was actually paraphrasing Jack's lawyer, who said that, except for the fact she couldn't stand him, he might have thought that our DA wanted to make him a rich man for all of the inappropriate cases of prosecution that wound up hiring him for defense!

Yvonne

The District Attorneys represent the people of the state.. if you hate and blame them, then you blame the people of the state. Perhaps Minding an underage child is far better than an investigation and a charge made on evidence. If challenges the people of the state and the laws their law makers created , perhaps you need to be more mindful of rights of others as well

Note – BINGO! First mention of the word, “hate” and I didn't make it.

Yvonne

You can blame anyone like most socialists do, but that means didly squat in the reality of things and using and teaching responsibility

CHANGED TO:

You can blame anyone like most socialists do, but that means didly squat in the reality of things and using and teaching responsibility. Too many people do not want to take responsibility for their actions.. it boils down to that more than the D.A.

Note – socialist? This actually came from a previous disagreement I had with Yvonne, when I suggested she was a polite equivalent to bat-shit crazy for believing that the implementation of the ACA would result in everyone being implanted with microchips, to track them! I kid you not!

Yvonne

As much as I understand Cubby because I have friends whose geek son at 14 did the same thing... that parents need to be aware of what their children are involved in and if they are using devices, chemical etc that require adult supervision. If you lacked in that, you lack in parenting.. I , myself as a child was on a constant watch list with my mom when she heard the tool box in the garage being opened.. next words from the kitchen unseen was "Yvonne, what are you up to". Parents who shoot the D.A> also need to look at how they handled it as parents.

Yvonne

It costs taxpayers too much tax dollars for irresponsible neglect of children using dangerous things... parents should be there with them. As a child if I used a flame thrower, I had a parent around like John is while taking a photo.. Hunting.. a child should be with the parent. If you are not with them, D.A. has a right and children protection services to investigate and indict. IT all could have been prevented if a parent was present.

Note – Understand what she's saying – that John is a responsible parent for supervising his child in the use of a flame-thrower! (Not really – it's photoshopped). Since all of Jack's chemistry videos were made at John's house or in the woods near John's house, I'm not sure how she has twisted this into my not properly supervising Jack.

Mary Robison

Conservatives and Republicans rarely let the facts get in the way of their spin. But enough highjacking of John's thread - you don't like me and I don't care! But say nasty things about my kid and you've got another story. You know NOTHING about socialism, or you wouldn't be a Republican! You know nothing about how my son was parented. You know nothing about my local politics. You also know nothing about Photoshop.

Note – OK, this is where I lost my temper and deliberately poked the bear. I'm referencing that prior disagreement, when she explicitly accused me of being an arm of the NSA. Although why the NSA would take a known "socialist", I still don't understand... 

Yvonne

I would say the same for socialists who are responsible for the largest numbers of mass murder in human history.

CHANGED TO:

I would say the same for socialists who are responsible for the largest numbers of mass murder in human history. I use photo shop since it came out. The shadowed edges are obvious.. I am a retired art professor. you ASS U ME too much.

Note – this was edited after I commented that I didn't care what her educational background was.

Yvonne

no one is hijacking.. I never stated I did not like you.. we are discussing Johns topic.

CHANGED TO:

no one is hijacking.. I never stated I did not like you.. we are discussing Johns topic. seems like you are spinning and getting hyper emotional. BTW I was president of women's liberation in my city at the age of 19 and I was a republican the next years still being the president.. I am a feminists and so is my husband and daughter and her husband s family.. so what does this have to do with hating representatives of the state criminal laws?

Note – this is where she's overtly gone into her own little world where I'm the evil socialist who hates the minions of law and order.

Yvonne

IF you mention you dislike and blame D.As you have to realize not everyone will agree. Mary, I worked in the criminal justice system for almost 10 yrs and went to law school. My husband is an attorney.. I simply responded to your comment. I have no emotion about it

Note – husband is an attorney. She went to law school, but either did not finish or did not take the bar exam. It is not clear in what capacity she worked in criminal justice. Exactly what her qualifications are, not clear, but she is claiming expertise. For someone without emotion, she gets pretty heated.

Yvonne

I never said anything nasty about "your child". I did say when parents blame attorneys , even if it is DA or defense.. they need to look at their examples as parents.. who was with Cubby when he was a child when that occurred.. ? its not about Cubby.

Note – she's right, here. She never said anything nasty about Jack, just me.

Leo Zicc

nothing to warm the heart like a boy and his flamethrower.

Yvonne

I know nothing about socialism? my family lived in socialist Czechoslovakia who had socialism forced on them. Do you know my educational background. ? I do know parenting when I see it

Yvonne

and his father who is with him... Leo..

Note – Not to denegrate John but, prior to our divorce, he was a one-day-a-week dad. He did his best, but a lot of things got in the way (mostly getting the business making money, but some of his activities were really not good. Enough said.). John was with Jack on Sundays, only, from birth to age 7.

Yvonne

In Tx as I stated, we use flame throwers for native grass manipulation of different species.

Mary Robison

Dictatorships such as those found in the former satellite states of the USSR were closer to Fascism, despite calling themselves socialist. So yes, I don't think you know the difference. I don't know your educational background and don't particularly care. All I know is that you misuse political terms as insults. And you assume that politicians like district attorneys always represent the will of the people. I disagree. You blame me (but not John?) for our son's upbringing. Because it's always the mother's fault.... ridiculous. I'm done with you. Say whatever you want. You aren't worth my time.

Yvonne

They are socialists

Note – nyah nyah!

Yvonne

Obviously I was worth your time John is with his son most the time. Where did I say it was the mothers fault. I don't even know you.

Yvonne

John did a great job of raising Cubby..

Note – see prior note on Jack's upbringing.

Mary Sweeney Warwick

Passive aggressive much Yvonne?

Note – the first of my defenders. Several more quickly piled on.

Lisa Bennett Lyman

OMG, Mary Robison. I flipping love you so!

David Esau

this yvonne appears to know nothing about civility, Christmas or propriety while using facebook.

J Robert Prout

Wow, must be something about the name Yvonne; I know of one in my area that really gets off on ass-u-ming the worst in others also and making people's lives miserable.

David Esau

sitting here slack-jawed at the nerve. what it's all about is personal responsibility. but this raises questions about overall poise. in fact, who is she helping -- RIGHTNOW??

Amélie Frank

Yvonne, you are annoying and rude. Give it a rest.

Trish InSpace

I can't see her posts, so I know which yvonne it is, she is not well, best to just not see her.

John Elder Robison

The comments on this certainly covered a lot of ground. In any case, flamethrowers are not regulated like guns and are legal more places than not. As for Cubby's trouble with the DA . . . time showed that DA for what she was, and she is long gone. As my friend in the State Police observed - the victors write the history, and I have done so. None of the people who investigated my son's videos or experiments believed he was a criminal, and none wished to see him indicted. That was pure opportunism on the prosecutor's part - a play for news coverage by making a terrorism story where there wasn't one. Finally, I'm not sure what people think is photoshopped on that image; all I did was adjust light and dark ranges. Woof!

Note- John sees, as Yvonne does not, that by attacking me, she implies that Jack's prosecution was appropriate.

Brad Beadel

Interesting to see what happens in America and at least Cubby learnt and survived. Does seem he knows the dangers of what happens with fire and he hasnt set the bush on fire yet.

Brad Beadel

Unfortunately the law always hurts the little people as there is always someone who wants to make a name for themselves who are higher in the foodchain that has no grip on reality or just dont care at all.

Kathleen B Tehrani

RAISING CUBBY is an excellent book....well worth reading. I hope anyone with a desire to understand how someone with self serving intent (that does NOT mean a D.A specifically but ANY person who is in a position of authority) can nearly ruin a young person's life....takes the time to read it and pass it along.

Not only is RAISING CUBBY informative....it's also hilarious. Great read.

CHANGED TO:

RAISING CUBBY is an excellent book....well worth reading. I hope anyone with a desire to understand how someone with self serving intent (that does NOT mean a D.A specifically but ANY person who is in a position of authority and does not handle that authority with integrity) can nearly ruin a young person's life....takes the time to read it and pass it along.

Not only is RAISING CUBBY informative....it's also hilarious. Great read.

Mary Robison

Thanks for the support, folks. As far as John singlehandedly raising our son, I refer you to the dedication he wrote in the book. You can ask Jack if he was ever left unsupervised in my house. Someone else said recently that teenaged boys are like unfixed cats, slinking around in shadows and corners - and it's true. Jack has lived in his own apartment for over two years so he doesn't see his father except for family dinners. I talk to him a couple of times a day ( he called for a quick chat as I wrote this - it's snowing hard and there were five accidents on I-91 between Brattleboro and the MA state line - I told him to drive carefully). I think we both did a pretty good job raising our son, who is doing many interesting, creative, and socially-responsible things with his aspie special interests. Those stories will have to wait for another day.

Chris Nielsen Berg

Mary Robison, you and John were and are excellent co-parents for Jack! No doubt about it. I have such tremendous respect for you both.

Martha Mauck Good

You can't be complacent anymore. Thank goodness you are pro-active folks and make sure things will work when the time comes.

Barbara Wilt Gerber

I wanted one of those for Christmas.

Note – Barbara is going back to the original humorous discussion about flamethrowers. Again, everyone piles onto this.

John Elder Robison

Martha Mauck Good - you so so right! You never know when living dead will emerge from the swamp bent on evil. Fire is the surest cure

Kathleen B Tehrani

That gives me the willies.

John Elder Robison

It should. Swamps contain unspeakable horrors, just waiting for the unwary to find them.

Kathleen B Tehrani

Oy

Mary Robison

Yeah, while a 50 caliber round is equally effective against a single maurader, the noise often attracts more undesirables. A good flame thrower just sounds like a furnace cycling on and off and you don't need the precision, either.

Stephanie Rembert

would it be too weird for me to say that i think it's beautiful? because i'm totally gonna.

Yvonne

AS people do not like to be labeled falsely, nor do servants of the people. How about respect for all. People using autism for hate of public jobs is as disgusting as those who do so against AS people, when a few break the law and other AS people are attacked like the school , last year. You are no better than the people you hate, because of a few. Hate and bullying is cancer , even when AS people hate and bully professions

Note – now I'm a bully? And bullying people on the spectrum? WTF?

Yvonne

Mary, embracing hate much.? I love discussion but not when a cancerous hate is embraced. I guess the 2 Mary, s do. But that is socialism for yo

Note – yep, I guess that's exactly what Yvonne means. And she's aiming at Mary Sweeney Warwick, too, for coming to my defense.

Yvonne

Mary. R, A shot gun does a far better job ans was and is used by ranchers .IT SAVED THE WEST FROM NIGHT raiders. Learn some history and facts ,. It helps

Note – is this a direct threat against me? You tell me.

Yvonne

Oy is the perfect word. When socialists get one person who backs them up, they attack .

Yvonne

Brad more evil people get away than good. And tge "little" people as you reference them as always innocent are some of the worst who play victim. Like Casy Anthony

CHANGED TO

Brad more evil people get away than good. And the "little" people as you reference them , as always innocent are some of the worst who play victim and are evil. Like Casy Anthony. Crime is equal in all groups of citizens

Note – now she's comparing me to Casey Anthony, a woman who probably murdered her toddler daughter to go out clubbing and kept the decomposing body in the trunk of her car before discarding it in a swampy area.

Kathleen B Tehrani

One of the things I admire most about John, (other than his wonderfully bizzare off-the -wall humor of course), is his clear focus on a concept during a discussion.

I've never observed him attacking a person or a person's character.....just agreeing or disagreeing with an idea or concept.

I enjoy that about John's wall.

Yvonne

Yup John ans Maripat are excellent parents . I remember when he was suffering angst with Cubby's case and had to suffer a harrowing divorce from a non participant bio parent. He did not deserve that. As a feminist since 1969, I support equal rights for fathers.

CHANGED TO:

Yup John and Maripat are excellent parents . I remember when he was suffering angst with Cubby's case and had to suffer a harrowing divorce from a non participant bio parent. He did not deserve that. As a feminist since 1969, I support equal rights for fathers.

Note – now in Yvonne's mind, I was a mother who abandoned her child and husband.

Yvonne

Yes I agree but there are those who hate people like DA's , children and animals. If you stand by and do nothing then you are part of the problem.

Note – and, apparently, I hate children and animals as well as DA's!

Yvonne

Kathleen he went after the Wright's with my support and he was justified.

Note – John did not “go after” the Wrights. He resigned from Autism Speaks after Mrs. Wright said something incredibly hurtful (and not for the first time).

Kathleen B Tehrani

I believe it was the statements that were made.....not the person.

Yvonne

Actually I adore Swamps. Tg at is where you find some of tge greatest art treasures of the past. The lives in swamps, bos, and quaigmeyers are incredible

CHANGED TO:

Actually I adore Swamps. That is where you find some of the greatest art treasures of the past. The lives in swamps, bogs, and quaigmeyers are incredible.

Note – huh?

Yvonne

Kathleen that is highly sekective as statements are made from peoples opinions (The person)

CHANGED TO:

Kathleen that is highly selective , as statements are made from peoples opinions (The person)

Mary Robison

Yvonne, you are a terrible bully. You were the person to first mention blame and hate, although you can always go back and edit these posts, too, to make it sound like I did that. And you know NOTHING about John's and my divorce - did you know it happened ten years before the raid, and that we shared 50/50 parenting for all of the years until Jack was 18? John's second divorce was the one just after the trial - and I had nothing to do with that! John and Maripat got married two years ago, when Jack was 21. I agree that she is an excellent parent, but she didn't raise Jack. Yvonne, you are a terrible fool, a bullying monster, and you demonstrate it with every utterance on this thread. John - can you take it all down, please?

Note – My temper is GONE! John's second marriage (not Maripat - she is his third wife - and I agree with Yvonne that MP is a wonderful person - but Yvonne doesn't KNOW MP and I do!) was to the woman with whom he was inappropriate while we were married. At the time, I stayed as far away as possible from that quagmire, for my own sanity!

Yvonne

What makes Swamp Thangs evil? Have you ever met one?

Note – guess I'm a Swamp Thang, now!

Yvonne

Mary , only one person labels DAs with such venom and it was you, alone at the start. Perpetuating thefrom the start, . I am glad you divorced John. It made way for a beautiful marriage of non hate withMaripat. The reason John stays out of controversy on his wall is because he had a life time of it with Madame Mao in a marriage.

Note – except when I'm Madam Mao. But – go back and look. How much venom did I spew about DA's? This is where I called Maripat and talked to her for a while, then did my best to NOT respond to anything.

Yvonne

John was and is a great parent. Sorry you diagree

Note – never said, in my posts, that John was not a good parent. And I continue to think he did his best; he just wasn't around very much for those first seven years. He was much better after our divorce.

John Elder Robison

Come on people! It's a humorous post about a kid with a flamethrower and zombies in the swamp! It's not a parenting fight or a political fight! Yvonne, please key off Little Bear. She is a fine parent and is on the spectrum too. Little Bear has nothing to do with the entertainment value of this image. As for the Wrights . . . I did not ever attack them - I don't attack any of you - I just said that I did not want to be part of an organization whose leadership expresses the thoughts expressed by Mrs Wright in her recent op ed. The Wrights are fine people but their world view is seemingly very different from my own.

Yvonne

Nope D A. Hate was brought up by whom ....?....?... hmmmmm

Yvonne

Littke bear blamed DAs as a group

John Elder Robison

I don't know which of you brought up "hate" but it was not me, and was never the point when I post pictures for entertainment. Woof!

Yvonne

John I never said attacked. I stated went after. Huge difference

Kathleen B Tehrani

You're better than that Yvonne. Don't go down that road.....stating ideas is fine, but don't attack people. You're better than that.

Yvonne

Dissing ALL DAs was brought up my Mary Robison

Yvonne

Kathleen iguess you joined in

John Elder Robison

OK, attacked, went after . . . the point is not who used which word. The point is that I was posting entertaining images and captions and the commentary moved rather far off that mark.

Yvonne

Better than what Kathleen, do tell

Yvonne

Who attacked whom first Kathleen.?

Yvonne

Do address Mary who posted the ill will about DAs

Kathleen B Tehrani

Last comment (sorry John):
You're highly intelligent Yvonne and you can make valid points without focusing on personalities. That's what I meant by "Better than that".

Yvonne

Kathleen , so can you hmmm?

John Elder Robison

In my opinion - and this is my page, after all - what matters is that I didn't attack any of you, and if you want to fight between each other, this should not be the place for it.

Kathleen B Tehrani

Peace out.

Neil M. Fennessey

Hey. Your fans are fighting for your special favor and recognition! Pretty amazing.

Yvonne

Taking screen shot else where. ? You are correct john

Yvonne

So glad Maripat is such a brilliant lovi g person. Evening all

CHANGED TO:

So glad Maripat is such a brilliant lovi g person. Evening all . This will be remembered

Note – this also sounds like a threat.

Mary Robison

You can't argue with crazy. Blocking.

Yvonne

Actually not me Neil. I have my own recognition thank you . Plus I never had to feed off my husbands name. My book will be out soon. I had a horse load of business responsibilities which slowed it down. See you all again

Neil M. Fennessey

Yes, I too have fed off of John's and Mary's fame. Bound to happen since I've known them both for 40+ years. Through good times and bad and now again through the good times thanks in part to Maripat. John's acknowledgments in this latest book nail it so well.

Mary Robison

I love you, Neil. You're another of my brothers, just from a different mother.

Gordon Taylor

Yvonne, you throw around words like socialist, communist, fascist, racist and nazi like rocks at people. And in our society, about the three of the worst words you can call people are nazi, communist, or fascist. And you use all three words with reckless abandon, not caring who you hurt. This is cyber bullying.

Eugenia Brady

You go get'em Jack!!!!

Yvonne

I use them with experience and wisdom. Especially when good , caring DA' are attacked.now Gordon did not John as for humor. I could say you do make me laugh so perhaps respect our host;)

Gordon Taylor

Yvonne, you would flunk polisci 101. And perhaps writing 101. And communications 101.

Yvonne

Gordon its historical facts not name callling but political afffliiation like Swamp Thing :))) if the politically bent swamp fits, wear it. Personallly I cant stand blood sucking leaches in swamps , in pokitics , or real life who suck blood of happy talented peoples

Gordon Taylor

Who writes your lines? The late Ayn Rand?

Yvonne

Calling my typing on a new tablet I hate , I have hadvthehonor of. Being ueen of typoes 1.thank you for your politically attempted try at demeaning with judging typing on social boards . Pretty desoerate when tge do the typo spelling complaint , Considering the scource, If that is alll a leach cn do, then its not the most talented. Leach of the swamp.

Gordon Taylor

Please stop projecting. You are blinding me.

Yvonne

Say goodnight Gordon.

Gordon Taylor

Goodnight Gordon.

Yvonne

Night Mary and blocking youself never works

Yvonne

I was hoping you would respond withat line Lol There is hooe for you yet !

CHANGED TO:

I was hoping you would respond withat line Lol There is hope for you yet !

Yvonne

Nice to see. I am getting stalkers from this page . The only site I ever got them. As much as like John . Mamy of his followers are stalking and violent. They seem to have a commmon character , and hide behind fake Fb acccounts. ? This telks me even more,. ALL PMS ARE saved

Leo Zicc

hold it...hold it. i can fix this. my dad is a tv repairman, he has an awesome set of tools!

Note – this looks like the end of it. Opinions, anyone?

Unsettled

I need to set this down, before I forget parts or lose my courage. I had a very unsettling encounter on social media, earlier today. John had posted a funny picture, supposedly of Jack and a flame thrower, along with a comment about zombies nearby. Several people responded in kind, one commenting that these things were totally legal but that law enforcement sometimes took a dim view on their use. I chimed in, saying that although they might be “legal”, ultimately that determination was made by a jury, and that a district attorney could “make your life a living hell”.

Suddenly, a woman with whom I've argued about politics in the past started making nasty comments about “when you engage your children in hazardous activities” “with no parent around”, it only made sense for authorities to investigate. Where this was coming from, I didn't know, but it was obvious to me that this woman was accusing me of neglecting Jack, which had led to the raid on my house and all of that circus. 

The woman implied that I had denigrated the district attorney (I hadn't, but only because it wasn't necessary for my comments), and that in doing so, I was somehow disrespecting the people who had elected the DA. She was adamant that district attorneys only prosecuted people with good reason - the strong implication was that I had neglected Jack, subjecting him to prosecution. She said that I should have been the one to be prosecuted. Amusingly, she used the photo of Jack, supposedly using a flamethrower, as evidence of how John was a good father - that he was, in fact, supervising Jack while also taking pictures!

The woman is a big fan of John's, which made it even weirder. Her accusations included my being a socialist(!) as well as a “non-participant bio-parent”, from whom John had had a “harrowing” divorce around the time of the trial.

To state some facts, John and I divorced ten years before the raid. During the divorce, we divided parenting duties 50/50. John remarried a few years later and was having trouble with his marriage to Martha after the trial; they divorced the following year. John had a bad experience with the woman that he was dating at that time - she dumped him nastily. Still later, he started dating and ultimately married Maripat. But I had nothing to do with any of this.

I must admit, I did some things to push this crazy woman's buttons, after she accused me of being a socialist. I said that “conservatives and Republicans rarely let the facts get in the way of their spin.” This was rude, but it was provoked. I told her that she knew nothing about socialism, how Jack was parented, local politics here, or Photoshop (John had seriously retouched the picture). This infuriated her. She claimed expertise on socialism because her parents or grandparents had escaped Czechoslovakia after WWII. She later (after editing one of her posts) claimed expertise in Photoshop as a former professor of art, and of the legal system as a former law school student and the wife of a lawyer. (Also amusingly, she later commented that I was essentially riding John's coattails to fame, whereas SHE never did this!)

I said that I didn't care what her educational background was, that she was confusing the practice of Fascism with claims of socialism. I would have added how the Nazis had originally been the National Socialist party, but it didn't occur to me at the time.

After a while, she just started raving, making post after post after post. John finally came in (after I called Maripat on the phone) and asked for the name-calling to stop, but it didn't. I watched for a bit, then got my last licks in – I said that you can't argue with crazy and I blocked her. Then, I could see that others were still responding to what she was saying, so I broke down and unblocked her, so I could document her activity on the page. I copied out all of the comments. A funny thing occurred, about ten minutes later – she “hid” most of her comments, after making a comment about screen-shots – I don't know if they are only hidden from me or from everyone, but I found it weird (and too late – I've got them). She didn't block me, though, as I can still see a few of her comments.

One of those comments was unsettling. During the time when she apparently went offline for a while, the original thread of silliness about zombies, flamethrowers, and firearms had restarted (before she came back, went ballistic, and started raving). I made a comment that a flamethrower was better than a 50 caliber (I didn't specify the weapon, just the caliber), as the gun only took out one zombie, required precision aim, and the noise would bring out more marauders, whereas a flamethrower only sounded like a furnace cycling on and off. She suddenly came back, commenting that a shotgun was superior to a rifle at taking care of “Swamp Thangs.” Her later comments strongly suggested that she was referring to me and some of those who had come to my defense (in the thread) as the inhabitants of the swamps. I know that she lives in Texas and therefore, has easy access to firearms, but I doubt that she would come here to pick me off. Still, you never know, so if anything happens to me, law enforcement should take a close look a this woman, please!

I've got to ignore this deeply disturbed woman. She is the founder of an organization that I was a member of, but I quit it tonight. Facebook won't let me block her again for 48 hours. I'll decide what I want to do, then.

Labels

Labels can be obnoxious, terrifying, and comforting. I use, as my example, my recent experiences in the health care industry. In order to get paid, a doctor must provide a diagnosis. The problem is, my diagnosis is still in flux. After three bone marrow biopsies and frequent blood samples, we still aren't entirely sure what's wrong, although we definitely agree that something IS wrong with me. But I'm finally becoming reconciled to some of the labels.

Initially, I was admitted to the tenth floor of the Lunder Building at Massachusetts General Hospital. Since I entered on a gurney, I never saw the label on the button in the elevator for the floor: Cancer. According to the official website, the tenth floor of the Lunder building was designed for “Medical Oncology” and specifically for bone marrow transplant patients. The hematologist at Cooley Dickinson Hospital in Northampton told me that he thought I had aplastic anemia, but that I would need a bone marrow biopsy to confirm this diagnosis. Nonetheless, this became my label.

The first person to mention cancer to me was a nurse, after I'd been a patient in Lunder 10 for several days. She told me that I had leukemia (until tests came back later that day – then my label changed again). At the time, I thought that aplastic anemia was “better” than cancer. It isn't. Many forms of cancer can be cured; aplastic anemia cannot.

I was discharged from Lunder 10 after my first bone marrow biopsy. It indicated that my blood was starting to regenerate, so I wouldn't be needing a transplant in the immediate future - days earlier, I had been planning to watch the July 4 fireworks from a window on the floor, as I had been told that I wasn't leaving without a transplant!  As I left, I still didn't have a diagnosis despite the suspicion that I had a B cell lymphoma. I was given an appointment for the hematology clinic, on the first floor of the Cox building at MGH.

A few days later, I returned to MGH. I was directed to the clinic, whose door was clearly marked with two different labels: “Bone Marrow Transplant Clinic” and “Leukemia Clinic.” Oh, dear. Neither of these was anything that I wanted to visit. Still, the receptionist was kind, constantly offering snacks, drinks, sandwiches, and candy to everyone who entered.

After I had made the trip in to Boston many times and had my visits cut from weekly to biweekly, to monthly, and ultimately to every other month, at some point, the labels on the door stopped intimidating me. I saw the same people in the waiting room. Some appeared to be getting better while others did not. But, I didn't see anyone like myself – everyone had a definite diagnosis and a treatment cycle. I was the odd one, getting repeatedly tested but never needing any infusions or transfusions.Maybe I could escape a label.

After the third bone marrow biopsy, my diagnosis was “finalized” as aplastic anemia. Although I continued to have symptoms suggestive of B cell lymphoma, I needed a formal diagnosis for my insurance. It had been five months since I first got sick and the only the thing that was certain is that my bone marrow had failed and was not rebounding to normal. Therefore, the only diagnosis possible was aplastic anemia. I wasn't happy but I understood the need for a label.

Then, just when we thought that I was in a stable place, things changed about two weeks after the appointment where my visits were cut to bimonthly in the second week November.

Just before Thanksgiving, I developed a new symptom – pain and numbness in my left jaw. I thought that the tooth that I cracked after Jack's ATF raid on my house – the one whose corner had separated about two years ago - had finally developed a cavity. I went to the dentist to have it x-rayed. There was nothing wrong with it. Dr. Archambault told me that sometimes, cardiac insufficiency caused left jaw pain and numbness, and that I needed to see my primary care physician immediately.

Dr. Rouzier didn't have any open slots, so I saw Dr. Maria Gallo. She had been my physical therapist before she went to medical school, so we already knew each other. I saw Dr. Rouzier in the corridor, and he told me to tell Maria that they should talk about my problem, whatever it was. And what it was, wasn't obvious.

Once again, I was an enigma. Maria ordered a special CT scan of my head to be done at Cooley Dickinson, to see if I might have an aneurysm pressing on the nerve. I walked out to my car and realized that I couldn't catch my breath - just like when my blood crashed in June. I went back in and asked for bloodwork. Maria agreed and sent me to the lab, where they drew blood. She called me later that evening, to tell me that my hematocrit was a bit lower than it had been for months and that she had talked to Dr. Rouzier. Maybe it was headed down, again. I would follow up with him the next day.

I remembered that when my blood was crashing back in June, I had intermittently suffered from an earache in my left ear without any ear infection. Maybe this was related as both areas are enervated by the same branch of the facial nerve. Or maybe not. I would have a larger battery of blood tests the next week, on the Monday after Thanksgiving, then another visit with Dr. Rouzier on Tuesday morning.

I wasn't feeling well all weekend. I wasn't feeling awful, but I thought that my hematocrit and platelets were dropping – I was really having a hard time catching my breath and I had bruises everywhere. I zipped up to UMass after teaching at HCC on Monday and got my blood drawn.

Practically as soon as I got home, I had a call from Dr. Rouzier. He had also left a message on my phone (I had forgotten to turn on the ringer after my class). My hematocrit was 23. My platelets were 63. My white count was as low as it had ever been. He had talked to Dr. Ballom to see what she thought. We agreed to meet Tuesday morning and make some decisions. Minimally, I needed a transfusion, but he thought I might be admitted for further testing.

Tuesday, Maripat drove me to MGH. Maripat recoiled when she saw the signs on the clinic door. I had forgotten about my visceral response, the first time I saw them. I had blood drawn for a type and cross-match and an IV installed. And we waited. And waited. And waited. I was interviewed by Dr. Ballom's new medical student, then she examined me. And we chatted about what to do next. We agreed that things had changed since our last meeting, and that I needed to have the CT scans that we had planned on scheduling in February or March as soon as possible.

No blood was forthcoming. I had apparently developed a lot of antibodies to proteins in other people's blood since the transfusions of June. Finally, I agreed to return the next day. I needed to teach a class at 1:30 PM on Wednesday, so we would have to start as early as possible.

I met John in the parking lot to Big Y at 5:30 AM. Traffic into Boston wasn't bad at 6:30, so we arrived at MGH at 7:00 AM, and got to the clinic before 7:15. John had to push me in a wheelchair as I knew that I wouldn't be able to walk that far. I directed him from building to building until we got there. He, too, wasn't pleased to see the sign on the door. I thought that he would prefer to eat, visit Padihershef the mummy, or even the medical museum, but he mostly stayed in the clinic waiting room, napping and looking at his ipad. I was surprised; he hates waiting rooms.

I had an IV installed and more bloodwork was done. The blood, promised for 7:30 AM, didn't arrive until 8:45. Then, my IV line perforated my vein, so my nurse had to install a new one in the other arm. She had to slow down the rate of flow, so the transfusion took a longer than expected. The second unit of blood was also late. We didn't leave until 12:30, two hours later than we had planned. But I was able to walk to the car in the parking lot. I didn't make it to my 1:30 class but I taught my 2:30.

I still have the label of “aplastic anemia.” I'm getting ready for a new label. The CT scans next week may locate a lymph node that has been turned against me. I think I want a new label, “lymphoma”. I think I'm ready for it, now. I'm not sure that my insurance company will appreciate a new label. It doesn't matter. I'm changing insurance at the end of the year!