Itchy

My tummy scar itches tonight. I really haven't itched for months, as I haven't made the kind of white blood cells that cause you to itch (those cells are called eosinophils). This has been the one good thing about not making enough blood, but if I'm now making eosinophils, I'm probably making other white blood cells, too, which would be good. I'd really like to make all of the right kinds of blood cells, once again, and not have to worry about infections.

The itchy scar is the one from my colostomy. It's about four inches long, now, and runs along my waist on the left hand side. I've got a bunch of other scars from various instruments used during the less invasive procedures. Eighteen months ago, I had my gall bladder removed endoscopically. My surgeon made four, one-inch long incisions to allow access to my innards – one high and about midline, one about in the middle but on the right hand side, one low on the right side, and one right above my navel. That one was a double – I had also been opened up on the same site previously, during my colostomy repair. I have a couple more scars from that surgery, but they've faded. I expect most of the small scars to fade, but the big one is mine forever.

My navel doesn't look the same anymore, either. Somehow, the scars have made it a lot longer. A funny thing happened to it after the gall bladder removal.

I'm highly allergic to adhesive tape and to the weird stuff that the nurses paint onto surgical wounds, underneath the paper tape that is supposed to be anti-allergenic. I almost went insane from the itching after my gall bladder surgery; the itching was much worse than any post-surgical pain. I had to leave the dressings alone for a whole week. My surgeon finally let me wash it all off but it was too late. In all of the places where the goop had touched me, the skin was severely swollen, bright red, scaly, and itchy – the bright red of a baboon's butt. My belly button is an innie – with the cut surrounded by all of the swelling, it looked like I had a second vulva and vagina - bare - on my stomach. And it itched! I couldn't stand to have anything, especially clothing, touch it or any of the wounds. After too many more days (they felt like years) I was allowed to use cortisone cream, but my navel was....wrong...for months. I'm still a bit self-conscious of it, as it isn't the belly button that I remember. But it no longer resembles a second set of female genitals, to my great relief.

Just remembering how itchy I was, has made me start scratching my face and abdomen, all over again! I suspect the worst tortures involve the application of itchy things.