It's nearly Halloween and I still do not have a definitive diagnosis of what happened to me, four months ago. I'm scheduled to have my third bone marrow biopsy in two weeks, and the results should be final two weeks after that. I've had frequent blood tests during my visits to the Leukemia and Bone Marrow Transplant Clinic at Mass General. Nothing changes very much - my cell counts hover between low-normal and below normal, but not so low as to require any intervention. I'm tired a lot of the time, but I went back to teaching at Holyoke Community College in September. I was losing my mind, just hanging out at home.I've got three classes - two developmental math classes and an anthropology class.
I had a minor setback last week, when I apparently contracted a minor virus; I spiked a fever of 102, but it only lasted about 12 hours. Still, I dutifully reported it to the clinic and was sent to Cooley Dickinson's ER for anther round of blood tests. The results were almost identical to the tests I had had five days earlier, at MGH. Another health annoyance - I tore part of my right quadriceps, picking up a bicycle in the garage. The tear might have been caused by the antibiotics I had to take after I got out of MGH in June, when my white count was so low. It hurts, but it's better to have torn the muscle than to have contracted sepsis. I like being alive, even though I'm cranky at times.
I'm just so IRRITATED at the waiting game! Dr. Ballon thinks that my bone marrow was suppressed in June by a virus, but we'll never know which one. The most likely candidate is Fifth Disease. But, I may still have lymphoma, as well, but if I do, it is very slow growing. I need to ask Dr. Ballon about my prognosis after the next biopsy. Until we have some real data, it's all up in the air. I'm not a patient person, so having to wait and wait and wait for results just drives me CRAZY! But - it's my body that's not giving clear messages, so it's not her fault.
I'd like to have one full year - 365 days - of a good job, ordinary personal relations, and nothing weird. I want to have a boring, "normal" life for just one year. I've had a soap-opera life for too long.
